<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020</id><updated>2012-02-16T03:16:41.317-08:00</updated><title type='text'>A new life...</title><subtitle type='html'></subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>20</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-3682339651874999341</id><published>2011-03-06T22:30:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-03-06T22:30:45.383-08:00</updated><title type='text'>love</title><content type='html'>&lt;b&gt;Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it  is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily  angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but  rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always  hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1 Corinthians 13:4–8a&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Heavenly Father, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And Thank you.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you so much for bring me in to this world to know you.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you so much for providing me with so much things that you didn't have to.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you so much for giving me such a wonderful family.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you so much for providing me a place to worship you in peace.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you so much for letting me know so many wonderful people in this world.&lt;br /&gt;Thank you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Father. Thank you for giving me the power to love others like the way you love me and thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet those I love so much.&lt;br /&gt;Please give me the wisdom to love those that are close to me but also love those who are not so close to me and help me to have the heart of Jesus to love those who might have given me pain or suffering in the past. Help me to not only love them inside my heart but show them my love and your love as well.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thank you and in Jesus name I pray&lt;br /&gt;Amen.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-3682339651874999341?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/3682339651874999341/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=3682339651874999341' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3682339651874999341'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3682339651874999341'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2011/03/love.html' title='love'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-7666755581459128786</id><published>2011-01-06T19:18:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-06T19:18:00.059-08:00</updated><title type='text'>facebook</title><content type='html'>hey. its been a while.&lt;br /&gt;i see that u are not very happy to see me. why is that?&lt;br /&gt;did i do something to you? did i make you feel uncomfortable? just tell me please.&lt;br /&gt;dont do such things on facebook like getting offline right when i get online or not replying to any of my messages because it really makes me feel horrible about myself.&lt;br /&gt;maybe i did something really wrong and that is why you are being like this.&lt;br /&gt;or maybe you just dont want to be friends anymore so that is why you are ignoring me.&lt;br /&gt;whichever the reason is please just tell me and ill get out of your face right away!&lt;br /&gt;i wont ask any questions or anything. just tell me what is going on.&lt;br /&gt;because, im sorry if im&amp;nbsp; being annoying, i really dont want to cause anyone discomfort.&lt;br /&gt;so please just reply to this one message and ill never do anything that causes you any trouble.&lt;br /&gt;im sorry if im being egotistical but i really REALLY need to know so ill know how to rearrange my life without you.&lt;br /&gt;please just grant me my last wish.&lt;br /&gt;thanks for staying with me even though you really didnt like me. thank you.&lt;br /&gt;---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;what have you done for me for the past four months?&lt;br /&gt;you have taken the happiness that i always wanted away from me and now you cause me even more pain. why now?&lt;br /&gt;even though you were never there when i really needed you&lt;br /&gt;even though you never cared for me&lt;br /&gt;even though you did things your way all the time why do you feel like the victim?&lt;br /&gt;i am also a victim here.&lt;br /&gt;what happened to all the promises?&lt;br /&gt;what happened to all of our future plans?&lt;br /&gt;are they all gone?&lt;br /&gt;what happened to being "best friends"?&lt;br /&gt;was that a lie too? did u just say that to make me feel "better" about myself but in the end what you really wanted to say was "lets not see each other again"&lt;br /&gt;do i really make you that bored and unhappy?&lt;br /&gt;i guess i was only one that actually cared for anything and im sorry.&lt;br /&gt;im sorry that i never noticed all of the hints.&lt;br /&gt;im sorry that i made you suffer this boring life with me in it.&lt;br /&gt;but im not going to let you suffer anymore because im going to take myself out of it for you.&lt;br /&gt;however, always know that you will still be in my life even though i am no longer part of yours.&lt;br /&gt;im sorry for everything&lt;br /&gt;-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;my heart aches...&lt;br /&gt;it aches for the happiness that it should have but it never gets it.&lt;br /&gt;im sorry heart. im sorry that i cannot provide you the happiness that you need. sorry&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-7666755581459128786?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/7666755581459128786/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=7666755581459128786' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7666755581459128786'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7666755581459128786'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2011/01/facebook.html' title='facebook'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-1126900554765573723</id><published>2011-01-05T08:11:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2011-01-05T08:13:24.064-08:00</updated><title type='text'>staying strong</title><content type='html'>i just been having a lot of time to think about many different things that is going on...&lt;br /&gt;i feel as if my head is going to explode and my heart is going to stop.&lt;br /&gt;i feel all these emotions all at once that i cant control my self.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i realized that staying strong is my only choice in life right now.&lt;br /&gt;i have been at the bottom before so staying strong now is nothing. right?&lt;br /&gt;but it seems like this is very hard right now. (prob because im going to boston in a few days and im not sure if i can control myself there)&lt;br /&gt;i hate feeling like im in no control of myself.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i kept thinking. why am i worried over this when that person does not think about me at all.&lt;br /&gt;why am i the only one that is feeling pain right now?&lt;br /&gt;why is it that i care so much?&lt;br /&gt;then i came to a conclusion: its prob because that person doesnt care about me now and never did. i was a fool.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;but its a new year and im staring off strong.&lt;br /&gt;even though we will meet that doesnt matter.&lt;br /&gt;even though we will be talking to each other that doesnt matter&lt;br /&gt;i WILL stay strong and will not let my emotions take control of myself&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;staying strong is going to be hard but i believe that i can do it.&lt;br /&gt;i just have to remember not to think about it too much and think about other things in life that are much more important.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-1126900554765573723?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/1126900554765573723/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=1126900554765573723' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1126900554765573723'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1126900554765573723'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2011/01/staying-strong.html' title='staying strong'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-4529903703527831533</id><published>2010-12-31T05:42:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-31T05:42:24.418-08:00</updated><title type='text'>rest</title><content type='html'>Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you  rest.- Matthew 11:28&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-4529903703527831533?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/4529903703527831533/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=4529903703527831533' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/4529903703527831533'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/4529903703527831533'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/12/rest.html' title='rest'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-8105219992508199464</id><published>2010-12-30T17:19:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-12-30T17:19:15.311-08:00</updated><title type='text'>2010</title><content type='html'>so many things happened in 2010.....&lt;br /&gt;so many heart breaking things as well as so many happy things&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;hopefully 2011 will be a happier year than the last&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2011 will be a journey to a happier me~~ a stronger me~~ a better me~~&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-8105219992508199464?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/8105219992508199464/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=8105219992508199464' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/8105219992508199464'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/8105219992508199464'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/12/2010.html' title='2010'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-5409610864013510854</id><published>2010-11-14T17:04:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-11-14T17:04:14.606-08:00</updated><title type='text'>now</title><content type='html'>so my first semester of college is almost over and lots of things happened in my life.&lt;br /&gt;i met wonderful people and some not so wonderful people.&lt;br /&gt;i guess its time for me to move on with my old self and start new as a brighter, happier, and nicer person.&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;so my life right now is very confusing and complicated......&lt;br /&gt;but im going to solve this problem slowly&lt;br /&gt;i guess im experiencing a "normal college life"&lt;br /&gt;:)&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;im super excited to go back to florida for the winter break because i NEED a break from all of the craziness of boston and college&lt;br /&gt;hopefully after i come back ill be refreshed and can function normally like i had in the past&lt;br /&gt;i just NEED A BREAK!!!! AHHHHHHHHH&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;AND IM SUPER EXCITED TO SEE KEJING DURING THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!! &amp;lt;3&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-5409610864013510854?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/5409610864013510854/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=5409610864013510854' title='1개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5409610864013510854'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5409610864013510854'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/11/now.html' title='now'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-1242604223003727593</id><published>2010-09-22T19:04:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-09-22T19:04:32.165-07:00</updated><title type='text'>#2 college</title><content type='html'>so college is getting harder and harder as time progresses...&lt;br /&gt;but my personal life is getting better and better as time progresses&lt;br /&gt;the people @church are being AWESOME, unlike the first impression which i think it was bc we were all strangers.&lt;br /&gt;ive been meeting great people and also some not-so-great people&lt;br /&gt;but over all college is doing me justice in this heavy life that im in.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;things @church is going awesome. im volunteering as i did all my life(actually ive only been at the church for 3 weeks and new people think that ive been at the church for 3yrs because ive been all over the place!) &lt;br /&gt;my weekend starts with friday night at church for bible study&lt;br /&gt;sat morning (at 5:30) with morning prayer and praise band practice&lt;br /&gt;and sunday morning with CHURCH&lt;br /&gt;(oh yeah and starting tomorrow thurs with choir practice)&lt;br /&gt;now my church life was set, at least the church, my personal like is a place that needs settling down.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i feel more alone these days than usual, even more now than i was when i first came here. i see people going home, talking to their high school friends on campus, family visiting, and all kinds of things that i can't do right now. (i even see some CCs[campus couples] running around all over the place) i feel that i need a place where i can depend as a family, as a loving person, as a secure place..... i guess ill find THAT person soon but i need him fast...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;haha funny story!&lt;br /&gt;so i was working out at the gym and, being me, i was lifting weights after my running machine time! and some creeper came up to me saying "u come here often?" what was that about?? and he was in the engineering school too... =.= then some other creeper at school is trying to get all friendly with me. NO thats not possible! AH sooooo many creepers at school!!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;thats my life so far...&lt;br /&gt;ill update later if i have time&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-1242604223003727593?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/1242604223003727593/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=1242604223003727593' title='1개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1242604223003727593'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1242604223003727593'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/09/2-college.html' title='#2 college'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-6641308895854385539</id><published>2010-09-06T06:32:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-09-06T06:32:42.089-07:00</updated><title type='text'>life so far</title><content type='html'>this is my first blog in a long time.... wow.... i feel sooo lazy&lt;br /&gt;life in boston is pretty good so far. my roomies are nice, ppl here are nice, and i think im going to love this place as soon as i get used to it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i went to church yesterday for the first time by my self. i felt scared, confused, and foreign to it bc it wasnt my DAD's church. people there was pretty nice and they got me in to a bible study group really fast. the church is in Cambridge so i have to commute a little but i like it bc it gives me time to relax and get ready for the service. the church has around 200-300 college students and so its not a small size that im dealing with right now and i felt so lost bc i didnt know anyone and it seemed like everyone was friends and excited to see each other. when the main service and the student service was over we had a bible study group meeting and it was soooo weird bc no one was talking. so we went out for coffee, like most korean church kids would do on a sunday afternoon after church, and we started talking, actually THEY did and i kept quiet. and right off of that everyone was talking and laughing and having a good time while i just watched them. i felt out of the loop bc they had their friends with them and they all knew each other stuff like that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;so after that i volunteered to be in the praise band bc i wanted to serve like i have for the past 18 years of my life and that wasnt going to change just because i went to college. but when i asked the leader looked at me and said that "well.... the kid(next to me) volunteered first so i dont know whats going to happen but u can show up to practice and we'll see about that" and i guess i felt discouraged and unwanted. but i stood up for my self and kept reminding my self that what im going to do is for him and not for the people so i shouldnt worry about what others say about me. and so after all of that our group was going to go to noraebang together at night and so i was waiting in my dorm for a text, a call, or anything to tell me when we are going to meet. it never came. there was no phone call, text, or anything till 11 that night. and they said "sorry, i thought u were with everyone else so i forgot to call u. my bad" and that was it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i felt really sad but my personality didnt let me be sad bc i reminded my self that 'whatever. whatever they do they do and what i do i do so dont worry about it bc u have better things to do in boston than going to play at night' so that is what i did. i went up to my dorm and read the bible and prayed. prayed for straight to fight, knowledge to succeed, confidence to believe in myself as well as by family in florida, and faith so i can become a better christ follower than yesterday and the day before that. i prayed for the unconditional love that he has over me and so one day i can give that love to people around me with out judging and pointing fingers. i prayed for my health and my family's health. as well as the church that i went to so that it can grow and become a better place for students in the boston area to feel welcomed in to.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i decided that i cant fool around anymore. i MUST become a better person with a brand new attitude, mind set, and a new goal: to farther my relationship with him more than anything in the world. so because of that im planning to go to the early services at the church to start my day with the word and to feel loved by him even more that i am now. and i believe through that i can succeed in anything i want. and so staring this sat im going to go to the morning service at 6:30 and go to the praise band practice at 8:30 and just pray and try to live in the word so that i can become a better person in his eyes, in my eyes, and also in the eyes of others around me.&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;as i stated before, i believe that the school has TOO many koreans. and i felt really bad bc starting on the first day all the koreans were only hanging out with the other koreans and everyone stared at us really weird. bc all of them are FOBs and i was more of a twinky i felt out of place and i didnt belong there. but if i dont go with them i had no other "friends" in college bc my roomies had other friends to hang out with. and so when ever we had a meeting, a lesson, or at lunch all of the koreans were together and i could feel the stares of others onto us and it felt as if we had a hole on our foreheads or signs saying "look at us we are only going to hang out with our ppl bc we dont like anyone but us"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i think its time for me to become a true twinky again. not because i dont like the koreans but because i dont want to be the one to get kicked out bc im hanging out with the party koreans, which most of them seem to be, and im here to study so that is what im going to do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;all of my roomies are awesome! they are so nice to me and makes me feel safe and secure here in boston. the one thing that i am very sorry to them is that i dont really like to hang out with ppl that much or as much as "normal" people seemed to be capable of doing. and i feel really bad about this bc i AM such a nonsocial person and i am very boring and annoying that i feel soooooooo so bad about it. i hope in the future they will forgive me bc it is hard to change my personality from nonsocial to social. but other than that i think we are good. they do go out every night but that is what college is about. just going out and hanging out with friends, something i cant do. i hope in the future they will get to understand that this is my personality and i dont hate them or something bc they are REALLY nice.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;so to sun it all up, college is going to be interesting but when, or if, i make some new non-korean friends i feel like its going to be better than now. so my goals for this year until graduation is as follows&lt;br /&gt;1) become a better christ follower and so that in the future when people sees me they can see him through me&lt;br /&gt;2) do well in school. bc the tuition here are super expensive i HAVE to do well and support my family when i get out.&lt;br /&gt;3) graduate in 2016 with honors. this goes with the second one.&lt;br /&gt;4) make some, notice i didnt say a lot, of good friends and will support me and help me through this journey&lt;br /&gt;5) to realize who i am and how to journey will make of who i am in the future.&lt;br /&gt;6) if possible, to find someone that will support me in what ever i do for me. someone that will be more than a friend to me. someone closer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;i think this has been the longest post that i had... wow....&lt;br /&gt;ill try to write more to those who are reading but this is mostly where i can talk freely and really show my true self that no one had seen. yay college...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-6641308895854385539?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/6641308895854385539/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=6641308895854385539' title='1개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/6641308895854385539'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/6641308895854385539'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/09/life-so-far.html' title='life so far'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-1923671378896361088</id><published>2010-06-23T11:23:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-06-23T11:23:31.158-07:00</updated><title type='text'>....</title><content type='html'>wow.... its been so long since my last post....&lt;br /&gt;--------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;well this is my first post since i got to korea! its been 9 yrs since i came here and everything changed....&lt;br /&gt;so many memories... so much love... &lt;br /&gt;many things happened, like the world cup and how we made it in to the round of 16!! woop!&lt;br /&gt;i just felt like what i was in the past... feeling nothing and be fine with it...&lt;br /&gt;no love, compassion, pain, ect... &lt;br /&gt;feeling numb all the time...&lt;br /&gt;--------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;the doctor told me that my health isnt the best right now but its not horrible... i guess thats a good thing....&lt;br /&gt;i guess i have to start caring for my self because ill be all alone in boston in a few weeks and so i dont want my dad to worry about my health.... (wait i take&amp;nbsp;the pain thing back because i am in pain right now bc of my stupid unhealthy body...)&lt;br /&gt;------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;i guess the time that i have with people are slowly and slowly decreasing...&lt;br /&gt;the people in korea.... (whom ill prob see again when i get married....[or "if" as my brother says])&lt;br /&gt;the people in tallahassee... (whom i dont know when ill see them again after i leave bc idk about when, or if, i can come back down)&lt;br /&gt;the people in my heart... (that is numb right now and i need somebody to help me un-numb it...)&lt;br /&gt;---------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;TIME.... &lt;br /&gt;such a short and small word that means so many things...&lt;br /&gt;it is only time that heals a broken heart....&lt;br /&gt;it is only time that keeps going....&lt;br /&gt;time.... time...&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;i know our time is limited but i hope we can make the best of it together....&lt;br /&gt;hand-in-hand&lt;br /&gt;-----------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;i just realized that this was a very long and depressing post.... &lt;br /&gt;................................&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-1923671378896361088?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/1923671378896361088/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=1923671378896361088' title='1개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1923671378896361088'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/1923671378896361088'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/06/blog-post.html' title='....'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-5843512048846864461</id><published>2010-06-10T20:17:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-06-10T20:17:02.507-07:00</updated><title type='text'>wow so korea</title><content type='html'>ok so im in korea and everything is pretty awesome... except for the fact that i cant get on my actual fb account and that there are too many temptations everywhere!!&lt;br /&gt;its pretty ok and there are soooooo many guys!!! OMG vicky, katelyn, and kejing will like it here!!! =]&lt;br /&gt;but i do feel that i am too tall bc all of my family is REALLY small and stuff... =_=&lt;br /&gt;i went to the hospital today and it doesnt look good.....&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-5843512048846864461?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/5843512048846864461/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=5843512048846864461' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5843512048846864461'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5843512048846864461'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/06/wow-so-korea.html' title='wow so korea'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-7051469630012054372</id><published>2010-05-11T19:17:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-05-11T19:17:20.145-07:00</updated><title type='text'>something different</title><content type='html'>today my blog is about a different topic... its about the bible!!! yay!!! =]&lt;br /&gt;i realized today that sooooooo many ppl have John 3:16 as their fav verse of the bible... but why john 3:16?? why ONLY john 3:16?&lt;br /&gt;[it says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish nut may have eternal life."]&lt;br /&gt;i love this verse and all but the bible isnt all about this... yes it is important to accept christ as your savior but there are so many other great verses in the bible!!&lt;br /&gt;the bible isnt only about being saved, it more than that! its about how to live your life as a christian and if u are a non believer how the christianity came about. its a history book, a bed time story book, life guideline book, and its the world of God.&lt;br /&gt;i think that ppl should look more in to the bible than just john 3:16.&lt;br /&gt;the bible isnt always so loving and having eternal life. it has things like what christians should act in church, about judgement, the ugly side of christianity, and how ugly a christian's life will be and should be.&lt;br /&gt;so lets find other verses to represent us!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;few of my favs!&lt;br /&gt;1) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still  sinners, Christ died for us- Romans 5:8&lt;br /&gt;2) Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name given  under heaven by which we must be saved- Acts 4:12&lt;br /&gt;3) Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you  rest.- Matthew 11:28&lt;br /&gt;4) I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that  brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the  Gentile.- Romans 1:16&lt;br /&gt;5) For, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."- Romans 10:13&lt;br /&gt;6) Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free- John 8:32&lt;br /&gt;7) For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged  sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and  marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart- Hebrews 4:12&lt;br /&gt;8) The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the  godlessness and wickedness of human beings who suppress the truth by  their wickedness- Romans 1:18&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-7051469630012054372?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/7051469630012054372/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=7051469630012054372' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7051469630012054372'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7051469630012054372'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/05/something-different.html' title='something different'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-5121343633150346412</id><published>2010-04-27T17:11:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-04-27T17:11:48.868-07:00</updated><title type='text'>emotions</title><content type='html'>what ARE emotions...?&lt;br /&gt;what is the feeling of being happy, sad, in love, depressed, ...&lt;br /&gt;what are they?&lt;br /&gt;i do not know the answers because there is no emotion in me...&lt;br /&gt;i cannot feel emotions anymore... why is this? whats happening to me?&lt;br /&gt;i live everyday just living... but where are the emotions that embraced me so nights ago?&lt;br /&gt;----------------------------------------------------------------------------------&lt;br /&gt;that is what i felt like a few days ago...&lt;br /&gt;but i found one emotion that is trying to force it self in... this was the emotion that i havent felt in years... the emotion of ______. why is my heart going "pit-pat"? why is this happening?&lt;br /&gt;it shouldnt be doing it! it cant do it! but why is that the emotion came back so recently? this feeling that shouldnt be there is keeping me up in the nights and keeping alert during the day.... why... this strange feeling is taking me over like a drug... a drug to an ex-drug addict...&lt;br /&gt;drug that i should not take... but why is it that im enjoying this drug... why...?&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-5121343633150346412?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/5121343633150346412/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=5121343633150346412' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5121343633150346412'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/5121343633150346412'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/04/emotions.html' title='emotions'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-3844503278372352732</id><published>2010-04-10T17:37:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-04-10T17:37:18.024-07:00</updated><title type='text'>our limited time</title><content type='html'>wow... its already middle of april... we are already down to our final weeks together and its going to be very das when everyone is going to different places...(ok mostly uf but still)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i guess that its just me that is thinking about stuff like this... wanting to hang out more while we can, wanting to talk more to others, wanting to make more memories, wanting to...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;even tough some say that we have time later to hang out i feel sad BECAUSE i wont be here, BECAUSE i cant do things like that, BECAUSE...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i also wished that some friends WOULD keep in touch, even now, and not just act friendly @ school, because we will NEVER be able to keep in touch after high school.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder if we ARE still going to be friends after we leave each other... sometimes i wonder if my 'friends" are my real friends&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder if in ten years we can still talk and have a good time like we do now&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder if i never came down to tallahassee, fl ever again... if some one will miss me&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder do my friends WANT to keep in touch or am i trying too hard when they dont want to...&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder if they really care about me...&lt;br /&gt;sometimes i wonder...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i guess me trying to open myself to people are failing... something that i tried so hard to do... opening a closed heart to people... because i was hurt before... opening something so dear and important to me... i thought doing this will help me and others as well... i guess i was just being too annoying...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;because our end is near i must thank all of my friends, who may not even consider me as important as i consider them, of the things they done for me that they cant even wonder how much it effected me in the hardest times... in my darkest hours... thank you so much&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;lets enjoy our limited time together!!&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-3844503278372352732?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/3844503278372352732/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=3844503278372352732' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3844503278372352732'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3844503278372352732'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/04/our-limited-time.html' title='our limited time'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-3898686673335094704</id><published>2010-03-31T08:44:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2010-03-31T08:44:38.670-07:00</updated><title type='text'>my worries</title><content type='html'>yesterday i cried... not because of me nor my family but because i finally understand the pain that others go through (even if i dont know them).&lt;br /&gt;i read a news article yesterday about a korean celeb that committed suicide after his sister did a year and a half a go. i was really sad because i knew what he was going through, all the depressed days and the hardships. but i realized even if i was so sad for him that i, unlike him, is going to get "over" things and try to live my life to its best and that because God was there that i can get through it. Even though he was also a christian i think he just gave up... something i would never do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i recently gotten really excited for prom... but also very sad...&lt;br /&gt;i keep remembering and thinking that last year my mom really wanted me to go to prom but i just didnt... i regret it...&lt;br /&gt;but this year im going and it'll be lots of fun because i have my friends there with me!! (even though some of my best friends aren't going)&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-3898686673335094704?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/3898686673335094704/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=3898686673335094704' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3898686673335094704'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3898686673335094704'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-worries.html' title='my worries'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-8254498833853217582</id><published>2010-03-04T18:56:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2010-03-04T18:56:51.599-08:00</updated><title type='text'>forever</title><content type='html'>wow its been forever since i wrote on here...&lt;br /&gt;well i made a facebook again.... =_=&lt;br /&gt;i dont know if it is a good thing or not...&lt;br /&gt;*right now my up stairs neighbors are really loud and i just want to go up and tell them to shutup!!*&lt;br /&gt;i have recently tried to change my study habits because my dad is worried that i wont be able to study well when i go to MCPHS... he worries too much.&lt;br /&gt;i guess ill try and write more... =D&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-8254498833853217582?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/8254498833853217582/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=8254498833853217582' title='1개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/8254498833853217582'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/8254498833853217582'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2010/03/forever.html' title='forever'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-6328549866477054867</id><published>2009-12-12T18:21:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2009-12-12T18:21:44.420-08:00</updated><title type='text'>to my dearest friend</title><content type='html'>hey. it feels weird that im typing this in my blog but read what i want to say, that i cant say to your face because i am a coward...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;everyday you text me "is there any lit homework today?" and whenever i answer you back you never text me back. maybe its because you are studying or really busy but i really want to have more conversations with you because you are my precious friend that i would like to be with. i wish that we could talk more and be more truthful to each other. i know that half of this problem is my fault, because i dont like to open up to people, but i wish that i could contact you when ever i feel sad, depressed, or just to talk. i wish we could hang out together and have fun with each other like other people and their friends. but i guess this is my selfish with that i have... because i know that you probably dont feel like that to me because i'm really annoying... but my one wish, that i hope that you will fulfill for me, is that we can ask each other "how was your day?" or just talk to each other more... because at the end of the day i want to say to you "im glad i have a friend like you whom i can trust and say anything to."&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-6328549866477054867?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/6328549866477054867/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=6328549866477054867' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/6328549866477054867'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/6328549866477054867'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2009/12/to-my-dearest-friend.html' title='to my dearest friend'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-2226793209915282525</id><published>2009-11-28T09:35:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2009-11-28T09:35:20.113-08:00</updated><title type='text'>The meaning of "thanksgiving"</title><content type='html'>On thanksgiving morning i cried uncontrollably because i thought it was a good idea to look through some pictures from years back. but little did i know, those pictures made me cry so much because it reminded me of my mom and how much i missed her. the day before thanksgiving my dad asked me what i was thanking God for and i told him that i was thankful for my dad living, our family not falling apart, how God gave us the strength to persevere through this, and just everything that happened. i guess you could say that i had a "good" thanksgiving because i got so much out of it but it was a lonely thanksgiving as well...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-2226793209915282525?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/2226793209915282525/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=2226793209915282525' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/2226793209915282525'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/2226793209915282525'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2009/11/meaning-of-thanksgiving.html' title='The meaning of &quot;thanksgiving&quot;'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-7129859000865370075</id><published>2009-11-13T17:06:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2009-11-13T17:06:13.397-08:00</updated><title type='text'>I guess i'm just ____________.</title><content type='html'>1) I guess i'm just annoying.- i felt like this because i was always trying to act "happy" that i prob gotten a little annoying to others around me and so they prob ignore me as much as possible. and i agree. I'm not fun to be with... I just get in to other people's business and try to find out about the other person as much as possible so i can help them. but i guess that "helping" them was a bad idea... because people DO get tired of me and I'm also getting tired of my self. So i guess if i AM going to MCPHS in Boston it would be a good chance to change my self to be less annoying.&lt;br /&gt;2) I guess i'm just lonely.- I've been getting that a lot. that, going with #1, im just a character that makes others tired and so i feel lonely all the time. maybe its because most of my friends has their best friends that they can talk to or they have their own boy/girlfriend and so they dont need to talk to me. i feel like fall brings out all the loneliness in a person. i want to go out with my friends, have someone that i can depend on, and just be really happy... but maybe that is a wild dream that can never be achieved.&lt;br /&gt;3) I guess i'm just over looking at friendships- i wrote in my phone that "I think it is so amazing that friendships of many years are next to nothing, but friendships that i made at a little summer camp lasts a life time... but i guess this is life. friendships are nothing but a fake smile on the face. waiting to betray you. waiting to devour you when it is time to say 'goodbye'. and when that time comes what will i do? will i cry? be happy? confused? what will the other person say? would THEY be sad? happy? confused? OR would they laugh at me because i take things too literal? what would happen to me when that time comes?" And i think i what wrote on my phone is true in come cases. some friendships are made to last long but others just fail. maybe that is why no one wants to be with me... maybe i'm just a terrible friend...&lt;br /&gt;4) i guess i'm just ____________________.- now you fill out this part!! what do you think about me??&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-7129859000865370075?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/7129859000865370075/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=7129859000865370075' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7129859000865370075'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7129859000865370075'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-guess-im-just.html' title='I guess i&apos;m just ____________.'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-7860619548981884665</id><published>2009-11-03T20:38:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2009-11-03T20:38:59.298-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Being Lonely</title><content type='html'>So lately I've been feeling down and I can't express this feeling. I guess it is loneliness + depression + all the negative energy... I felt like this because I just get the feeling that when ever people tell me that "I'm here for you so what ever you need just call" is not true because i get the feeling that everyone calm them selves down from that event even though I'm suffering right now and I just can't open up to people right now by my self. And I just realized that the "friendship" that I have with so many people is "fake" because I guess that no one cares for me anymore. Like this Sunday when I got in to a car accident no one asked me is I was ok at church. The only thing that they ask ed me was "was it you fault?" and that kinda hurt me because I was having an emotional brake down because of what happened with my mom and for them to just ask "is it your fault?" was unnecessary. Also at school no one really cared that I was a little injured they were all like "oh... whatever" attitude... and not to say that they are all like that because a few of my friends, my sisters, really cared for me and truly asked if i was ok and stuff, which I am thankful for that.&lt;br /&gt;I guess it is so weird because the ones that asked if I WAS ok was the non-christian sisters and the christian "friends and people" were like "i don't care about your problem why are you being so annoying and telling me this kind of things..." attitude. I guess I just can't trust anyone anymore to be there for me when ever I need something. &lt;br /&gt;But thanks to my two lovely Chinese sisters that I can still have that little hope of thinking that someone cares for me!!! =]&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-7860619548981884665?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/7860619548981884665/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=7860619548981884665' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7860619548981884665'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/7860619548981884665'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2009/11/being-lonely.html' title='Being Lonely'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4456033223607460020.post-3579000027853317508</id><published>2009-10-31T20:25:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2009-10-31T20:25:44.284-07:00</updated><title type='text'>My new blogging life</title><content type='html'>Hello who ever is reading this. I recently started blogging again and i guess it is a new adventure for me because i haven't blogged in a while... Anyway, the reason i started blogging again it because i felt like i had no place to really show my feelings and i guess it is easier online to do this rather than talking to an actual person... Because i usually don't show my true feeling out loud a lot this is a (scary) new thing. if you would like to leave any comments i would appreciate it!! =] (also tell me about what you think about my posts so i would have a motivation to write more because this is a new way for me to open up!!)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So the topic of my first post is that i recently fell in love with this one song (and it is korean so I'm sorry for those who cant understand or hate korean music). It is by g.o.d (Groove Over Dose) who were my favorite band in the 90's. The song is called 촛불하나 (or one candle) and what i like most about this song is the lyrics because it helped me feel better about my self and what my family has gone through. This song gave me a lot of courage and it actually, almost, brought me to tears because of the beautiful lyrics and the message in it. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;So here are the Lyrics:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In this world,&lt;br /&gt;There are many people who have less than we do.&lt;br /&gt;For those who are struggling even now, we sing this song.&lt;br /&gt;"Stay strong!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why is life so hard?&lt;br /&gt;Who said that life was beautiful??&lt;br /&gt;Since I was born, all that life gave me was more trials to overcome.&lt;br /&gt;During those times, I looked into the mirror and asked myself,&lt;br /&gt;"What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this only happening to me?"&lt;br /&gt;It feels like it'll never change.&lt;br /&gt;Not tomorrow, or even the day after.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Don't say that&lt;br /&gt;Don't crumble under the pressure&lt;br /&gt;Whatever life gives you&lt;br /&gt;Whatever you receive&lt;br /&gt;Whatever this unfair world offers you&lt;br /&gt;If you just accept it&lt;br /&gt;Wouldn't you be fighting it?&lt;br /&gt;Would you give up?&lt;br /&gt;Would you surrender to the life that fate dealt you?&lt;br /&gt;Don't bow your head to the world, don't lose strength,&lt;br /&gt;Look at us.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Chorus&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When you're tired and exhausted, lean on me&lt;br /&gt;I will always be by your side&lt;br /&gt;So that you never feel like you're alone in this world,&lt;br /&gt;I'll be right beside you, holding your hand.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It's too dark, I can't see the road&lt;br /&gt;All I have on me is one match and one candle&lt;br /&gt;What could I do with this one small candle?&lt;br /&gt;How could the darkness leave by lighting this one candle?&lt;br /&gt;I see the bright light far away in the distance&lt;br /&gt;And here I am making vain efforts alone in the dark&lt;br /&gt;I want to fly towards that bright light&lt;br /&gt;But I can't - my wings fail me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But that's not the case&lt;br /&gt;So much can happen by lighting that one small candle&lt;br /&gt;I believed that there was nothing else around me&lt;br /&gt;But I discovered another small candle&lt;br /&gt;And when I lit it, they became two&lt;br /&gt;By the light of two candles, I can find more&lt;br /&gt;And two becomes three, and three becomes four&lt;br /&gt;And the darkness disappears&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Do you remember?&lt;br /&gt;We fought life without a father&lt;br /&gt;That was the story of my childhood&lt;br /&gt;It was true, and it was hard&lt;br /&gt;But I didn't give up there,&lt;br /&gt;I didn't lose my dream, I didn't lose my courage&lt;br /&gt;I kept trying, and here I am now&lt;br /&gt;Now I want to tell you&lt;br /&gt;You can do it, too. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgzcssEPtX4&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I guess my first post ends here. I hope you enjoyed it because I enjoyed sharing my favorite song to you and I hope that you can feel the similar thing that I felt while i was listening to this song.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Love Chanyang&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;P.S I will prob be posting almost everyday so make sure to check every now and then... you know if you wanted to =D&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4456033223607460020-3579000027853317508?l=jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/feeds/3579000027853317508/comments/default' title='댓글'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=4456033223607460020&amp;postID=3579000027853317508' title='0개의 덧글'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3579000027853317508'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4456033223607460020/posts/default/3579000027853317508'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://jjangchanyangjung.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-new-blogging-life.html' title='My new blogging life'/><author><name>하늘</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/10667717980270838803</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='24' height='32' src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9IjWpdJYT78/Suz64-5lusI/AAAAAAAAACA/UjKBtjq4v3Q/S220/IMG_0337.JPG'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry></feed>
